I want to go on record as saying:
I love pumping.
It's the 'love that dare not speak its name' in the lactation world, I believe. But, as I enter the homestretch of nursing (BabyGirl is nearly 10 months and I've always aimed to nurse for a year, so we'll see what happens after that), I'd like to speak that forbidden love into reality. Yes, Me.dela Pu.mpIn.Styl.e, I love you. Shall we count the ways?
- The pump has never bitten me. Not even once.
- Pumping allows me to shut my office door*, ignore the phone and emails, and take 15 minutes for myself at least once a day. Sometimes even twice. There is nothing wrong with this.
- It has never hurt to pump, unlike those first six weeks of nursing which hurt like motherf#ckinghell every single time she needed to eat, which felt like every 35 minutes.
- Because of the pump, I am able to continue breastfeeding my kid while I work. This is cool.
- The pump does not pinch a tiny fold of skin and then twist it while nursing. It has never done this and I am pretty confident it never will.
- Twice I have used the battery-powered option to pump while driving (i.e. sitting) in traffic. I find this ridiculously enjoyable.
- After four years of infertility, I still find it amazing that my body is capable of doing anything on its own in regard to reproduction, and those tiny bottles of milk from my very own body are proof that I can, in fact, breastfeed a baby. It makes me feel good. Take that, endometriosis.
- The pump does not wake up hungry at 5:00am.
- The pump is completely happy to work around my schedule. (My boobs, not so much. They have a schedule all their own.)
- Three words: pump and dump. Excellent for those earlier days when mommy really, really needed a glass of wine. Or possibly four.
*I know that having my own office is a huge part of why pumping is not a big deal to me. Trying to do that multiple times daily in a bathroom or some random spot in your workplace would be a pain in the ass. I get that. Also, I know it does hurt to pump for some people. I'm lucky in that regard. Therein ends my disclaimers.